Red or Green Cape?

Today in class we talked about aristotelian relationships and reversible capes. Having an aristotelian relationship is not just for a romantic relationship, you can also apply this concept for friendships or family relationships. What does it mean if you have an aristotelian relationship? It means you are with that person because you see potential in that individual. Moreover, you are not only with that individual because of what they can offer, but because you love who they are (Finley, 2020). There are two different types of capes you can wear in a relationship, there is a green cape and a red cape. This does not mean you only get to choose one, it just means you wear one more than the other (Finley, 2020). This lesson really made me think about what type of person I am in my current relationship, and after much thinking I have concluded that I wear the red cape more in my relationship. 

Both capes are equally essential in making a relationship work. When someone wears a red cape in a relationship, this means they are constantly trying to fix their relationship, they are fighting the bad. Whereas, the green cape means you promote all the good things that are happening in the relationship (Finley, 2020). I think naturally in every relationship, whether it be a romantic one or just a friendship I just rather focus on how we can make this relationship stronger and better. An example of me trying to fix our relationship is when we argue. Many people tend to just apologize and move on, I can’t do that. When we argue we say what we are apologizing for and how we can try to avoid this problem in the future. It isn’t easy, we both have to put our pride aside and have the strength to own up to what we did. 

Constantly trying to fix a relationship can be exhausting therefore wearing a green cape is important in having an aristotelian relationship. In class we also talked about actions and behaviors that we incorporate into our existing or new relationships. These actions and behaviors can be expressed when you wear the green cape. There were four main actions that we discussed: savoring, gratitude, strengths date, variety, positive emotions, maintaining reasonable aspirations and cultivate appreciation (Finley, 2020). Two behaviors I tend to incorporate into my current relationship are gratitude and variety. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years and it can be easy to fall into a routine. Going to the same restaurant or the same place, or doing the same thing. Therefore, I plan to change things up. Perhaps trying a new restaurant or going to a different movie theater. I will also try to express gratitude a lot more. I am not an affectionate person and forget to say thank you out loud. It is not that I’m not thankful, it is that I would rather show my appreciation with my actions. My boyfriend has told me it would be nice to hear how much I appreciate him once in a while. So I think I should actually be vocal and express my emotions a bit more. 

While learning about relationship we also walked around campus to interview students or staff to ask them what actions are crucial to make a relationship work. Some answers we got were: being honest, doing nice things, being affectionate, and being able to communicate. I think all of these along with others are important in any type of relationship. Most, if not all, answers were actions a person wearing a green cape would do. Wearing one side of the cape are both equally important in any relationship and we need to find a balance in how we are in our relationships.  

Source: Finley, K. (2020). Positive Relationship [PowerPoint presentation]. Retrieved from Moodle.